NEW YORK — At the onset of his career, Justin Stewart found himself overwhelmed by multiple jobs to sustain his financial needs. He dedicated his mornings as a news show production assistant, beginning his day at 3 a.m. and working until noon. Afterward, he would quickly head to an airport to rent cars or to retail stores for extra shifts. On some days, he even resorted to sleeping in his vehicle between jobs. However, his relentless schedule caught up with him, leading to hospitalization due to exhaustion and a severe staph infection.
Stewart, now 36, reflected on his experience, stating, “While people around me praised my hustle, I eventually paid the price.” A physician advised him that his lifestyle was unsustainable for someone his age, urging him to make significant changes.
After his medical scare, Stewart recognized the importance of establishing boundaries in both his professional and personal life. He made the decision to relinquish his side jobs, realizing he could manage without that additional income. Stewart also set clear communication guidelines with his colleagues, informing them that he was unavailable outside of work hours.
However, setting boundaries is not always straightforward. For many, saying no—especially to superiors—can be difficult, often stemming from a desire to please others or a need to feel valuable. Experts emphasize that mastering the ability to decline requests is crucial for maintaining mental and physical well-being, and like any skill, setting boundaries becomes easier with practice.
Professionals in well-being and organizational behavior have shared various tactics for establishing limits.
**Be Strategic with Your Schedule**
While adding more tasks to your calendar may seem counterproductive if you aim to reduce your workload, it can actually help you regain control over your time. Bobby Dutton, the founder of GBM6, employs a method called “aggressive calendaring.” He schedules tasks he tends to procrastinate on, like managing contracts, weekly on Mondays at 2 p.m. To avoid an overflowing calendar, he also blocks time for everyday activities, including making coffee or walking the dog.
**Prepare Your Responses**
If you’re not accustomed to saying no, it may help to script your responses in advance. Stewart practiced informing his colleagues when his workload became excessive, using phrases such as, “This is overwhelming for me” or “You assigned me seven stories; I believe I can handle four or five.” Cara Houser, a workplace engagement coach, encourages individuals to refrain from over-explaining and to simply state their unavailability, adding, “Thanks for asking, and I hope to have more capacity next time.” If someone tries to convince you otherwise, you might respond, “I understand your perspective, but I’ve made my choice for the day.”
**Understand Your Boundaries**
It can be tempting to respond affirmatively to requests right away. Nevertheless, it’s often more beneficial to pause and consider your own workload and priorities. Israa Nasir, a psychotherapist, reminisced about a former boss who would often send work-related texts late at night during weekends. Instead of demanding he stop, she proposed, “Can we discuss these matters before the weekend, so I can plan accordingly?”
Be mindful of activities or interactions that drain your energy; Nasir recommends creating a “No List.” This list doesn’t mean you have to decline every invitation, but it will help you take a moment to consider before responding affirmatively.
**Utilize Technology Wisely**
While mobile devices facilitate working from anywhere, they also blur the lines between work and personal time. To mitigate distractions, Nasir started moving her email app away from her iPhone’s main screen over weekends to reduce temptation. Additionally, incorporating an email signature stating your working hours can help set expectations. Candice Pokk, a senior consultant, includes a “Well Being Notice” in her emails that reinforces the idea of a healthy work-life balance.
**Be Selective with Meetings**
The convenience of online meeting platforms can lead to overscheduled calendars. Janine Pelosi, CEO of Neat, asserts that employees should feel empowered to leave irrelevant meetings if the workplace culture supports it. She suggests requesting meeting agendas in advance to assess their value before attending.
**Establish Time Constraints**
Lori Perkins, a publisher, faced a turning point when a cancer diagnosis forced her to reevaluate her grueling 12 to 16 hour workdays. Following treatment, she discovered that she desired to make a change and now limits her working hours to approximately 50 per week. As a result, she has opted to suggest longer timelines for manuscript reviews instead of immediately rejecting submissions. Perkins has made it a practice to mentally rehearse saying “no,” which has freed up time for personal pursuits like visiting museums and spending time with loved ones.
“Embracing ‘no’ transformed my life,” Perkins stated. “I have evolved into a different person since I learned to appreciate the power of this small word.”
