Becky Engram is navigating the intricate balance of family caregiving, as she finds herself at a challenging crossroads. The 48-year-old mother of two is tasked with managing her responsibilities as a parent while also caring for her father, who is experiencing significant health issues. This complex situation leaves her feeling stretched thin, as each family member demands her time and attention, resulting in a sense of inadequacy in her roles.
Engram’s father, Bruce Dunning, aged 78, has been frequently hospitalized due to heart complications that emerged late last year. Once self-sufficient, he now depends on the presence of a caregiver, prompting Engram to undertake the lengthy drive from her home in Marietta, Georgia, to his residence in Huntsville, Alabama. This journey, lasting approximately three and a half hours, is compounded with frequent overnight stays that can extend to several weeks. Recently, her husband, Derek, made the trip to bring their children to visit Engram, allowing her a brief respite from her father’s hospital room.
The impact on Engram’s family, particularly her 10-year-old son Carter, has been profound. Carter has expressed feelings of abandonment, stating that he no longer feels that he has a mother due to the time Engram spends away for emergency hospital visits over the holiday season. This statement has deeply affected Engram, highlighting the emotional weight that accompanies her caregiving responsibilities.
Engram belongs to the “sandwich generation,” which refers to adults who simultaneously care for both their children and their aging parents. A research study from 2022 indicates that approximately one in four adult caregivers in the U.S. also tends to a minor child, estimating that between 2.5 million and 11 million adults fall into this category. As demographic trends show that parents are delaying childbearing, this number is likely to grow, according to researchers.
Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) notes that the typical age of first-time mothers in the U.S. has increased to 27, with many women delaying childbirth until their 30s or 40s. This trend means that many parents are also navigating parenthood while their own parents are entering older age, facing health complications that accompany it.
The task of multigenerational caregiving brings with it various challenges—physical, emotional, and financial. Studies show that those in the sandwich generation report heightened levels of emotional strain, financial difficulties, and caregiver role overload. Research has identified that caregivers dedicating over 20 hours a week to assist older family members can experience negative effects on their physical and mental well-being that may persist for years.
The workload for sandwich caregivers is considerable, often requiring them to juggle various responsibilities such as arranging medical appointments, keeping track of health care information, running errands, and attending to personal care tasks. At the same time, they must manage their children’s daily needs and activities, maintain family meals, support homework, and provide financial resources to counteract additional medical expenses. The cumulative stress from these combined roles can be overwhelming.
The impact of these demands does not stop with the caregivers; their ability to spend quality time with their children often dwindles, which can adversely affect the children’s academic performance. Relationships within the family can also suffer as tensions rise from the constant juggling of responsibilities.
Additionally, the pressures faced by caregivers can encroach upon their self-care opportunities. With limited time available for social interactions, support networks can diminish when they are most needed—a significant concern during these challenging times.
The “sandwich generation” label might not fully encapsulate the intricate realities caregivers face, with some experts likening it to a more complex scenario—a “seven-layer dip,” reflecting the multifaceted challenges involved. Cultural contexts further add to the complexity of caregiving roles and their effect on mental health. Research suggests that caregivers in cultures that emphasize strong familial bonds may experience less mental strain associated with caregiving.
As someone who began caregiving at a young age, Dr. Francesca Falzarano’s experiences have informed her work in gerontology and her focus on how cultural values shape caregiving experiences. Her personal journey began at age 14 when her mother was diagnosed with early-onset dementia. This insight drives her research into the myriad influences that cultural expectations have on caregiving, particularly for women, who are often expected to shoulder these roles alone.
Falzarano encourages those managing caregiving tasks to seek support. Reaching out to others facing similar situations can ease feelings of isolation and provide valuable insights and tips that can lighten the caregiving burden. For Engram, establishing a support network was among her first courses of action once she recognized the permanence of her circumstances. Relying on friends, neighbors, and her husband has allowed her to manage caregiving duties more effectively.
While plans are being discussed to potentially relocate her father and his pet closer to their home in Georgia, Engram is currently balancing the responsibilities of caring for both her father and her family, handling everything from health management to pet care. This journey reflects the reality of many in the sandwich generation, highlighting both the struggles and the resolve of those devoted to caring for their loved ones.
