NEW YORK — Nearly 20 years ago, Lisa Highfill found herself in a rather uncomfortable situation that many parents can relate to during the holiday season. After parking her car in the garage, her then-eight-year-old son delivered the shocking news he had learned at school: “There’s no Santa. You’ve been lying to me.” Reflecting on this moment, Highfill, 56, from Pleasanton, California, admitted not knowing how to respond as she was caught off guard.
This dilemma resonates with numerous parents as the holiday season approaches, bringing with it a mix of joy, gift-giving, and the ubiquitous question of whether to reveal the truth about Santa Claus. For those unaware of the long-held belief, now might not be the best time to continue reading!
Santa Claus, the joyful figure known for his reliable, worldwide gift-giving spree every Christmas Eve, has been a part of holiday festivities for nearly two centuries. His character has inspired countless songs, movies, and stories, serving as an arbiter of good behavior and the recipient of many cookies and glasses of milk prepared by eager children. Yet, it is essential to recognize that he is not a real entity—a revelation that might be upsetting for some.
Many parents embrace the delightful notion of Santa as a way to impart a sense of magic to their children during the holidays. This brief period of enchantment offers young kids a joyful distraction from the realities of life that will inevitably set in. Conversely, some adults are wary of maintaining Santa’s myth, raising concerns about the implications of chronic surveillance inherent in his story and the broader cultural climate emphasizing truthfulness amid rampant misinformation.
David Kyle Johnson, a philosophy professor at King’s College in Pennsylvania, highlights the dilemma parents face in maintaining the charade for as long as possible. He posits that this may lead to children developing a habit of believing things based on emotional comfort rather than critical evaluation of evidence. “You’re teaching them how to think and evaluate claims,” says Johnson, questioning how this influences adult belief systems.
In contrast, Tara Boyce emphasizes the importance of honesty with her two sons, aged 6 and 7. She has made it clear that she has always played the role of Santa, insisting that Christmas can be magical without needing the myth. At the same time, she is careful to respect the diverse beliefs of others, explaining that her children should not try to disillusion their friends. Boyce, 46, from Livermore, California, noted her sons love the festive elements associated with Christmas, such as lights, music, and animated shows, suggesting they are content without the mystique of Santa.
The figure of Santa Claus is a uniquely American invention, blending various European traditions and immigrant influences. By the 19th century, he became a staple of American culture, fully cemented by the early 20th century. Unlike other fictional figures like the Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny, Santa has a rich lore regarding his identity, residence, marital status, and toy-making processes, which have been reflected and expanded upon in popular culture.
Research conducted by Candice Mills, a psychology professor at the University of Texas at Dallas, indicates that children typically experience a brief sense of sadness after learning Santa isn’t real, but they quickly adapt to new traditions and continue to enjoy celebrating the holiday. Mills discovered that many parents intended to carry on Santa traditions with their children, despite their own memories of disappointment in childhood upon discovering the truth.
For Highfill, the desire to include Santa in their Christmas celebrations echoed what her parents had done for her as a child. She hadn’t considered how this tradition might conflict with their parenting principles emphasizing honesty, and her son’s emotional response in the car made that clear. Feeling deceived, he reacted strongly, declaring, “How could you have done this?”
Ultimately, this pivotal moment didn’t strip away her son’s joy during the holiday season in ensuing years. In fact, Highfill noted that it fostered a special bond between her children as her eldest became determined to keep the Santa secret alive for his younger sibling. “He wanted to keep it from his brother, which was kind of funny,” she reminisces, highlighting his protective sentiment towards the magic of Christmas for a child still fully enchanted by the story of Santa Claus.