NEW YORK — When it comes to weddings, it’s not uncommon for family members to hold vastly different political views. Whether it’s Uncle Jim, who is staunchly conservative, or Cousin Jane, who advocates for liberal causes, the mixing of these distinct perspectives can create tension at an event that is meant to be joyful. This dilemma often leads couples to seek guidance from professionals on how to maintain peace during their celebrations.
Natalie Benett, a wedding planner based in Los Angeles, notes that she frequently receives calls from couples anxious about how to handle their seating arrangements. “Many find themselves worrying that their reception could devolve into a heated political debate,” she said. Weddings should ideally be free of the outside world’s conflicts, yet the urgency of looming elections can infiltrate the festivities, making thoughtful planning essential.
One key strategy involves being proactive with wedding invitations. Couples can encourage guests to avoid political discussions by adding friendly reminders in their invitations or through signage at the event. Benett suggests creating strategic seating arrangements, positioning individuals with opposing viewpoints apart from each other. If physical distance isn’t possible, having a buffer person ‘between them can help manage any potential tensions effectively.
Furthermore, Benett highlights the importance of having designated “peacekeepers” at the event—individuals who can deftly guide conversations back to lighter topics. Known as “diffusers” by etiquette expert Jo Hayes, these people can help deescalate uncomfortable situations, ensuring that political disputes don’t overshadow the couple’s special day.
Utilizing hired help can also be crucial. According to Mary Angelini, a wedding videographer from Palm Beach, Florida, those in the service industry are often in a prime position to redirect conversations away from incendiary topics as tensions surface. “We are the first responders when it comes to addressing political friction,” she stated, emphasizing the significance of communicating any potential issues with the team.
When it comes to toasts and speeches, pursuing a non-political agenda is vital. Brian Franklin, co-founder of Vows & Speeches in Los Angeles, highlights that couples should clearly instruct speakers to avoid political topics altogether. “The focus should be on honoring the couple, not testing political waters,” he explained.
Quippy remarks have their place too, especially when tackling unwanted political conversations. Kristy Diana, a planner at Lola Event Productions in Chicago, recommends using light-hearted humor to steer discussions elsewhere. “Say something like, ‘This sounds like a better conversation for another time! Can you believe how amazing the musicians are?’” she advised.
Assigning a “guest-sitter” can also be a savvy move—professionals advise designating someone close to a guest known for voicing controversial opinions, ensuring that any outbursts are lovingly addressed through gentle reminders.
Keeping guests engaged is another effective tactic. Brittny Drye, founder of Love Inc. magazine, suggests that if guests are entertained by games, photo booths, or live performances, they are less likely to wander into divisive discussions. She added, “Loud music can act as a shield against political discourse.”
Weddings present a unique opportunity to bridge divides. Johanna A. Solomon, an assistant professor focusing on peace studies, encourages couples to view differing viewpoints as a means of enhancing understanding among family members. “Interactions can humanize individuals’ experiences, turning conflict into a chance for connection,” she noted.
The conflict can also be redirected to more neutral conversational topics. For example, themed tables or guided discussions centered around common interests like food preferences or hobbies can create a welcoming atmosphere.
It is important to address any potential conflicts prior to the wedding day. According to Laura Brezel, owner of O Frabjous Day Events, a well-curated guest list is highly sought after, yet some couples must still retain certain individuals known for their polarizing views. “Consider having a family member address political sensitivities on your behalf if direct conversations are too intimidating,” she suggested.
Finally, making a collective request for peaceful interaction clear to all guests—whether through the officiant or printed materials—reinforces the purpose of the celebration. “A unified message helps all guests align with maintaining a harmonious environment,” she added. “This way, everyone can contribute to a joyous occasion.”