Valentine’s Day is typically associated with romantic love; however, it is an opportunity to recognize and celebrate all forms of love present in our lives. This holiday encourages appreciation of the diverse relationships we cultivate, whether they stem from family, friendships, pets, or community bonds. In light of increasing feelings of loneliness, deep-seated divisions in politics, and a growing preference for technological interactions over genuine social connections, three experts shared insights on how to foster love in various forms.
While romantic love is undoubtedly significant, professionals emphasize the importance of nurturing multiple connections. Mikaela Frissell, a social worker from UT Health Austin, points out that especially as we age, it becomes clear that no single relationship can fulfill all our emotional needs. Love itself is complex and cannot be encapsulated by a simple definition or a singular action. Tyler VanderWeele, an epidemiologist and director of the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard University, explains that love can be both “unitive,” characterized by a desire to be with a beloved person or thing, and “contributive,” indicating a wish to enhance their well-being. By expanding our understanding of love, we become open to directing these feelings towards a wider range of individuals and causes.
In recent discussions around public health, loneliness has been recognized as a serious issue. In 2023, then-U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy described it as an epidemic, revealing that half of Americans suffer from feelings of loneliness that can be as detrimental to health as smoking fifteen cigarettes daily. His findings indicate that individuals with unsatisfactory social connections have an elevated risk for conditions like heart disease and stroke and that social isolation may increase the likelihood of experiencing depression, anxiety, and cognitive decline.
Conversely, the bonds associated with love and social relationships are deeply tied to improved health outcomes. Frissell notes that strong relationships contribute to a sense of safety for the brain and body, moving away from a “fight or flight” response. Empirical evidence supports that time spent with loved ones can lead to lower blood pressure, decreased stress hormones, reduced inflammation, improved sleep quality, and better pain management. The longitudinal Harvard Study of Adult Development underscores this by demonstrating the enduring benefits of nurturing relationships. According to psychologist Anthony Chambers, who has worked with this study, those who reported high levels of happiness in their relationships at age fifty tended to have better mental and physical health in their eighties.
To cultivate love, experts have simple yet effective recommendations: actively seek in-person interactions. This might involve the discomfort of coordinating calendars for dinner with a busy friend, reaching out to a sibling about trivial matters, or opening up conversations with a new neighbor or acquaintances. Frissell highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing any fears that may hinder interpersonal outreach. Additionally, engaging in altruistic acts, even towards familiar strangers, can foster connections. Frissell encourages her clients to offer daily compliments and remain open to receiving them, asserting that both acts yield similar benefits. VanderWeele advocates for a weekly ritual of five acts of kindness over a six-week span to ensure that kindness becomes a prioritized part of daily life.
This year, as Valentine’s Day approaches, professionals urge individuals to expand their perspective beyond intimate relationships and reflect on their wider community connections. Engaging with causes or organizations can bolster mental resilience, providing comfort and validation during trying times. Chambers notes that relationships are critical in promoting emotional healing amid chaos, allowing individuals to feel understood. VanderWeele also emphasizes the value in extending love even to those we may disagree with, suggesting that how we relate to others is fundamental to shaping a harmonious society.
