Last year, as Lauren Haydel experienced her inaugural sober holiday season, she found herself wondering about the challenges of steering clear of alcohol during family gatherings and social celebrations. Owning a boutique called Fleurty Girl in New Orleans’ French Quarter, a neighborhood well-known for its lively drinking culture, made her question the reactions of others to her decision. However, to her surprise, very few questioned her choice. “Instead of asking why,” Haydel shares, “people inquire, ‘Oh, do you feel better?’”
Various friends even expressed their interest in potentially refraining from alcohol themselves. Jessica Jeboult, the founder of A Sober Girl’s Guide, notes a notable societal movement towards sobriety during this time. “The holiday season offers a unique opportunity to reevaluate or redefine your relationship with alcohol,” she remarks. With an expanding market of alcohol-free products and increasing awareness of the benefits of sobriety, the support available for this lifestyle choice is at an all-time high.
For those considering sobriety this holiday season, several tips are offered by sober coaches, managers of sober bars, and individuals living happily without alcohol.
First, it’s advisable to plan your drink alternatives before attending social gatherings. Abby Ehmann, owner of Hekate Cafe and Elixir Lounge, a sober bar in New York City, advises that holding a drink can elevate your comfort level. “With a drink in hand, it feels like you are part of the social atmosphere, instead of awkwardly standing there,” she explains. Choosing non-alcoholic beverages beforehand can ease anxiety around drink options, especially if you prefer beverages that mimic the taste and feel of traditional alcoholic drinks. There are numerous non-alcoholic wines and beers available, so it might be beneficial to sample a few in advance or check what’s on the menu at any bar or restaurant you plan to visit.
If you’re hosting or attending a home gathering, prepping your own mocktail recipes is an excellent idea. Chef Suzanne Podhaizer from Vermont recommends treating these drinks as something special. “Add some festive touches, like a sugar rim or edible glitter,” she suggests, ensuring that these non-alcoholic beverages feel like a treat. Mocktails can also be thoughtful hostess gifts – simply prepare a batch of your favorite mocktail recipe, pour it into a decorative jar, and tie a ribbon around it before bringing it along.
Additionally, planning social outings that do not revolve around alcohol is crucial. This holiday season, consider alternatives such as enjoying hot chocolate outdoors or engaging in ice skating activities, as suggested by Kate Baily, a women’s health coach from the U.K. If you receive an invitation for an alcohol-centric event, feel free to decline, advises Adam Cannon, a sober real estate agent from Pittsburgh. With networking events frequently taking place at bars during this time of year, he chooses to avoid situations where drinking can become excessive.
It’s important to know your limits and when to leave social gatherings. Haydel advises that you do not need to adhere to previous habits at holiday parties. You can decide to attend briefly, staying for the first hour or so before making your exit. “Once drinks start flowing, the atmosphere and conversations often become repetitive,” Jeboult notes. If you find it necessary, leaving without a detailed explanation is a valid option known as a “French exit” or an “Irish goodbye.”
During events, remember to take breaks and seek support from sober friends. If you start to feel overwhelmed, Jeboult recommends taking a moment for yourself—whether that means slipping away to a restroom, stepping outside for fresh air, or simply going for a short walk. Snack breaks can also be beneficial, according to Jay Bridwell, a recovery counselor who emphasizes the HALT strategy: if you feel Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, you may be more inclined to turn to alcohol. Ensure to allocate time for rest and nourishment and have a support system readily available—whether it’s a trusted friend, family member, or an online community.
Lastly, plan your transportation options wisely. Identifying several ways to return home after a gathering can alleviate stress and decrease the temptation to indulge in alcohol. Knowing you can leave on your terms fosters a sense of freedom.
Ultimately, view your sobriety as a cherished gift during the holiday season. Last year, Haydel found immense joy in engaging in significant conversations and waking up each day feeling refreshed and capable of recalling the previous night’s events. “Sobriety is a gift that continuously benefits your future self,” Eliott Edge of Hekate emphasizes. Baily encourages individuals to lean into this rewarding experience, suggesting they take their time preparing for events and envision how fulfilling and enjoyable the night can be. As a bonus, plan a small reward for the following day—perhaps a cozy breakfast date or a leisurely morning walk in the park, accentuated by the absence of a hangover. “You can savor the delightful moments of the night without any consequences,” Baily concludes.