For more than a decade, Vice President Kamala Harris has had her husband, Douglas Emhoff, by her side.
Second Gentleman Emhoff, affectionately known as “Doug” and “Dougie” to his wife, began dating Harris in 2013, and the couple tied the knot a year later when she was serving as California’s attorney general.
Harris has shared that among the qualities she most admires in Emhoff are his sense of humor and his patience, particularly during stressful times.
“We’re dealing with issues of global significance,” she explained to US LIVE. “These are serious times with serious challenges, but in our relationship, we don’t take ourselves too seriously. You have to go with the flow and keep perspective on what’s really important.”
Although Emhoff is Harris’ strongest supporter, he has no intention of influencing her policy decisions.
“She’s surrounded by excellent political advisors,” Emhoff said in November 2020. “My role is to be her partner, her best friend, and her husband. I’m here to have her back.”
Throughout her vice presidency, Emhoff has been a steadfast supporter and continues to stand by her as she secures the 2024 Democratic presidential nomination following President Joe Biden’s decision to step down from the race on July 21.
In response to Biden’s decision and subsequent endorsement of Harris, Emhoff expressed his gratitude on X, writing, “I am deeply grateful to @POTUS and @FLOTUS for their years of friendship and support. President Biden is a true patriot who leads our nation with honesty, decency, and integrity.”
Learn more about Douglas Emhoff, the second gentleman and husband of Vice President Kamala Harris.
Before Becoming Second Gentleman, He Was a Lawyer and a Teacher
Douglas Emhoff was born on October 13, 1964, in Brooklyn, New York, and spent his early years in Old Bridge and Matawan, New Jersey, with his parents, Mike and Barbara, and his siblings, Andy and Jamie. During his teenage years, his family relocated to Southern California.
He attended the University of California, Northridge, and earned his Juris Doctor from the University of Southern California Gould School of Law. Emhoff became an entertainment, sports, and media lawyer, founding his own firm in 2000, which he sold in 2006 to Venable LLP. After relocating to Washington, D.C., in 2016 with Harris, Emhoff joined DLA Piper as a partner, representing clients such as pharmaceutical company Merck, arms dealer Dolarian Capital, and Walmart, according to The New York Times.
When Harris announced her candidacy for the presidential primary, Emhoff took a leave of absence from his firm, ultimately resigning in November 2021 before Harris’ inauguration as vice president.
In addition to his duties as second gentleman, Emhoff has taught at Georgetown University Law Center since 2021.
“Sure, it’s a bit unusual for a second gentleman to be their teacher. But we got past that in about five minutes during the first class,” Emhoff said. “Now, it’s just about learning, and my goal is to share my experiences as a lawyer with them.”
Their Relationship Began with a Blind Date
One of Kamala Harris’ close friends, PR consultant Chrisette Hudlin, set her up with Emhoff on a blind date in 2013. Though advised by Hudlin to keep an open mind, Harris admitted that she Googled Emhoff before their first date.
Emhoff initiated their first conversation over text while attending a Los Angeles Lakers game, followed by a “ridiculous voicemail,” which Harris still saves and plays for him on their anniversary.
Despite the voicemail, Harris found Emhoff’s gesture “adorable,” and their relationship blossomed from there. After their first date, Emhoff sent Harris an email outlining his availability for future dates, stating, “I’m too old to play games or hide the ball. I really like you, and I want to see if we can make this work.”
He Was Married Before
Before meeting Harris, Emhoff was married to film producer Kerstin Emhoff from 1992 to 2010. Despite their divorce, Emhoff and Kerstin remain close friends, with Emhoff continuing to serve as her lawyer and business advisor until he left his practice. Harris and Kerstin also share a close relationship.
Kerstin noted that Emhoff has become more thoughtful in his marriage to Harris, even planning trips for the couple. “Of course he’s a better husband now, and that’s great,” Kerstin said. “That’s how it should be.”
For his part, Emhoff strives to live by the mantra, “listen more than you talk,” in his marriage to Harris.
Taking Their Relationship and Blended Family Slowly
Given Emhoff’s previous divorce and Harris’ experience as a child of divorce, the couple approached their relationship with care, especially regarding the introduction of Emhoff’s children—daughter Ella, an artist, designer, and model, and son Cole, who works as a producer in Hollywood.
“Doug and I put a lot of thought into when and how I would first meet the kids,” Harris wrote in a 2019 essay for Elle. When they finally met, Harris recalled having “butterflies in [her] stomach.”
“Cole and Ella could not have been more welcoming,” she said. “They are brilliant, talented, funny kids who have grown into remarkable adults. I was already hooked on Doug, but it was Cole and Ella who reeled me in.”
Harris and the children have a close relationship, with Ella and Cole affectionately calling her “Momala,” a blend of her name and a Yiddish term for “little mother.”
“It’s a name they gave me, and I wear it proudly,” Harris told PEOPLE in November 2023.
His Tattoos Reflect His Family
Emhoff has three tattoos, all meaningful tributes to his loved ones.
He has Ella and Cole’s initials inked on the inside of his wrist, which he got as a “visceral reminder of them” after his divorce from Kerstin. He also sports a dragon tattoo, symbolizing the Year of the Dragon, when both he and Harris were born.
A Small, Intimate Wedding
Emhoff proposed to Harris in her apartment on March 27, 2014, during what she described as “a decidedly unromantic conversation” about dinner options. The couple married on August 22, 2014, in a small ceremony at a courthouse in Santa Barbara, California, officiated by Harris’ sister, Maya. The event was elegant and personal, featuring a cellist and a reading of Maya Angelou’s poem “Touched by an Angel” by Harris’ niece, Meena. Both Harris and Emhoff wrote and exchanged their vows.
Stacey Johnson-Battiste, a close friend of Harris, described the ceremony as “elegant” and noted how much Emhoff adores and supports Harris in her career, calling him the “perfect complement” to her.
Supporting Harris Through the 2020 Election Cycle
Emhoff stood by Harris during her Democratic presidential primary campaign in 2019, even carrying a photo of her on his phone case at an Iowa campaign stop. When Harris withdrew from the primary in December 2019, Emhoff remained a supportive presence.
“She made that decision, and I would have supported whatever she decided, but I’m not her political advisor,” Emhoff told Marie Claire. “I’m her husband. My role is to be there for her, to love her, and to have her back.”
As Harris became Biden’s running mate, their schedules grew more hectic. Despite the demands of the campaign, they prioritized their time together, often planning their days like a meeting.
“We are a partnership,” Emhoff said. “We get up early, work out, and then sit down to figure out how we’ll get through the next few days.”
Making History as Second Gentleman
Harris made history as the first female, Black, and South Asian vice president, but Emhoff also broke new ground as the first second gentleman.
“I am honored to be the first male spouse of an American President or Vice President,” Emhoff tweeted from the then-newly minted @secondgentleman X (formerly Twitter) account. “But I’ll always remember generations of women who have served in this role before me—often without much accolade or acknowledgment. It’s their legacy of progress I will build on as Second Gentleman.”
In addition to being the first second gentleman, Emhoff is the first Jewish person in the role. He made history by lighting the White House menorah for Hanukkah in 2021 and became the highest-profile American official to visit Samoa in July 2023.
Advocating Against Toxic Masculinity and Antisemitism
In his role as second gentleman, Emhoff has taken a stand against toxic masculinity and antisemitism. He’s emphasized the importance of kindness and empathy as defining traits of true masculinity, challenging traditional, harmful stereotypes.
“Masculinity is loving your family, caring about your family, and being there for your family,” Emhoff explained. “We’ve confused the idea that showing kindness or empathy somehow isn’t masculine, but that’s just not true.”
Emhoff has also been a vocal opponent of antisemitism, visiting Auschwitz on Holocaust Remembrance Day in January 2023.
Prioritizing Their Relationship
Despite the demands of public life, Harris and Emhoff prioritize their marriage, starting and ending each day together.
“We try to approach those moments as husband and wife, not vice president and second gentleman,” Emhoff told PEOPLE in November 2023. “It’s really our time to be a couple, talking about kids, family, and very little about the workings of our days.”
