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Bold decision: Some young American women defy expectations by choosing to become Catholic nuns

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PALMYRA, Pa. — Zoey Stapleton, a 24-year-old woman, recently made a momentous decision that had been on her mind for years. During a hike along a dimly lit trail, she found the courage to reveal to her parents her desire to become a nun, a revelation that both surprised and delighted them. Although there were brief moments of silence during her announcement, they ultimately embraced her choice, observing that her commitment to faith had strengthened their own beliefs.

Having graduated from Franciscan University, a Catholic institution in Ohio, Stapleton is now among the less than 1% of nuns in the United States who are under 30 years old. The number of young women entering religious vocations has remained relatively stable for the past decade, with only 100 to 200 making this significant choice each year. However, many either do not complete their journey or are unable to pursue it due to various reasons.

Joining a religious life involves significant sacrifices. Many of these women give up dating, material possessions, and even modern conveniences such as smartphones and trendy clothing. Instead, they seek a profound religious experience and a close-knit community, especially as the average age of nuns in the U.S. hovers around 80 years old. Earlier this year, Pope Francis expressed concern over declining numbers of both priests and nuns, urging religious orders to intensify their prayers for new vocations. From a peak of 178,740 nuns in 1965, the count has fallen dramatically to 39,452 by 2022.

Currently, the U.S. hosts more than 500 women’s religious communities, with the majority consisting of 50 or fewer members. As noted by Thomas Gaunt of the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate (CARA), communities with younger members tend to attract others who are similarly youthful and engaged.

Raised in a Catholic environment and having attended Catholic schools throughout her education, Stapleton developed a connection with the Franciscan Sisters, T.O.R. of Penance of the Sorrowful Mother. “They really care about me as a person rather than just seeing me as a potential sister,” she explained. This past August, she and two other women began their journey as postulants within the community, situated in the scenic hills of Toronto, Ohio.

Intriguingly, Stapleton, a former tennis player and coach, found common ground with the sisters through their shared love for physical activities. “They enjoy staying active, which I appreciate,” she shared, recalling her energetic games of soccer and ultimate Frisbee with them.

As one of the relatively newer orders, the Franciscan Sisters, T.O.R. was founded in 1988. Stapleton had considered joining the Sisters of Life, an active group focused on pro-life initiatives, before ultimately choosing her current community. “They are thriving and gaining many new members,” Stapleton noted. Both the Franciscan Sisters and the Sisters of Life belong to the Council of Major Superiors of Women Religious, often viewed as more traditional than the larger Leadership Conference of Women Religious.

Transitioning into the life of a nun often requires personal sacrifices, including adapting to a new wardrobe of habits. Stapleton expressed enthusiasm about wearing the habit, emphasizing its significance. “Wearing it is a testament to living differently in the world,” she articulated. Adopting modest attire that resembles the friar robes of St. Francis of Assisi, the order finds symbolic meaning in these garments, viewing them as representations of their spiritual commitment.

Apart from clothing, the community maintains simplicity in their technological usage, opting for shared flip phones and only utilizing the internet when it’s essential for their ministry. Stapleton’s motivation for joining this specific order stems from her admiration for the joy and freedom she witnessed in the sisters’ relationship with God. “I felt a strong connection there, longing to express my love for the Lord,” she stated.

Sister Philomena Clare DeHitta, who helps guide aspiring members through their discernment, described the community as distinct in its spirituality and structure. She noted that while some orders are primarily cloistered, the Franciscan sisters combine both contemplative and active roles in their lives.

Despite the emergence of new religious communities recognized in recent decades, Gaunt understands that these numbers indicate only a small fraction of the broader decline facing religious life today. “While there are new groups forming, many older ones are ceasing to exist,” he remarked.

One significant concern for young women considering a religious vocation is the burden of student loan debt. For many, financial obligations can create obstacles to fulfilling their spiritual aspirations. “Nearly half of those discerning in the U.S. face similar challenges due to student loans,” mentioned Katie Power, a 23-year-old from Wisconsin and fellow Franciscan University alumna. Currently considering joining the Carmelite community, Power found remarkable assistance through the Labouré Society, an organization dedicated to helping young women pay off their educational debts.

The lengthy process of becoming a nun typically spans 7 to 10 years. Initially, candidates become postulants, living with the religious order. They then progress to the novitiate phase, dedicating a year to prayer and understanding their vows, followed by temporary vows, and ultimately, perpetual vows.

For Sister Seyram Mary Adzokpa, navigating her calling during the pandemic posed additional difficulties. Meeting her fellow Sisters of the Holy Family over virtual platforms instead of face-to-face interactions was quite unusual. Ultimately, she committed to the order at 27, despite not having experienced their environment prior to joining.

Now, Adzokpa is among four women under 40 in her community, which primarily serves an older demographic of nuns. The Sisters of the Holy Family were founded in the 1800s for Black women and continue to thrive today, adapting to modern needs while maintaining their mission.

Adzokpa, who integrates her nursing expertise into their community, expressed that the perception of losing one’s career upon entering religious life is not accurate; rather, she has found ways to share her gifts in service to others. Her daily routine includes assisting the elderly sisters, which helps bridge the gap created by their age differences. The joy she receives in serving them is evident.

As she engages in daily tasks and experiences the privileges of communal living, Adzokpa finds a profound connection to her faith. “I truly believe that it’s God’s grace that keeps me from feeling isolated, despite the age differences,” she said, her smile a testament to her fulfillment in her chosen path. The sense of joy permeates her life, reminding her that if that feeling ever diminished, she would reevaluate her commitment.

This vibrant atmosphere and intergenerational support paint a hopeful picture for the future of religious life, as newer generations explore their faith and commitment to community.

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