In a surprising twist, when Lyle and Erik Menendez are released in the next 30 to 45 days, they won’t be returning to single lives. The brothers, imprisoned for over three decades, have been secretly married to two attractive women for more than 20 years. Despite the secrecy surrounding their relationships, both brothers maintained committed marriages while serving time, adding an unexpected layer to their complex story.
Lyle married twice – he is already divorced one time – first in 1996, and then again after his divorce in 2003.
Erik wed his wife Tammi in 1999 – and is married til then.
Both marriages were consumed over the speakerphone also, there has never been sex between the brothers and their wives because this is not allowed by the rules of their prison life.
When they go free in the next weeks they will be welcomed by their respective wives, Tammi Saccoman and Rebecca Sneed.
Then they will not only have the chance for the first sex in their life, they also want to get kids and start a new family life in new homes.
Erik and Lyle shot their parents, Jose and Kitty Menendez, at point-blank range on Aug. 20, 1989. After years spent in trials, the brothers were both convicted of first-degree murder and sentenced to life in prison. While serving their sentences they both got married.
Lyle was first married to Anna Eriksson from 1996 to 2001 — he then married his current wife, Rebecca, in 2003. Erik wed his wife, Tammi, in 1999.
“Tammi’s love has propelled me to become a better person. I want to be the greatest possible husband to her,” Erik told PEOPLE in 2005. “And this affects the choices I make every day in prison. Tammi has taught me how to be a good husband.”
The brothers are back in the spotlight thanks to Ryan Murphy‘s MONSTERS: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story. The September 2024 Netflix series follows the case, examining not just the murders, but also the sexual abuse allegations that the brothers levied against their father during their trials.
In October 2024, Los Angeles County District Attorney George Gascón recommended that the brothers be resentenced to 50 years to life. Since they were “youthful offenders” under the age of 26 at the time of the murders, they could be immediately eligible for parole, though a judge will ultimately have the final say in their resentencing.
“They have been in prison for nearly 35 years,” Gascón said. “I believe they have paid their debt to society.”
Here is everything to know about Lyle and Erik Menendez’s wives, Rebecca and Tammi – reported by People magazine:
Lyle was previously married to a model
Lyle’s first wife was Eriksson, a former salon receptionist turned model. According to The Sun, Eriksson wrote a letter to Lyle during his and Erik’s first trial. He responded, and they began corresponding regularly, eventually developing a relationship.
In 1994, Eriksson moved to Los Angeles to be closer to Lyle and got a job at a record label. The pair married on July 2, 1996 — the day Lyle was sentenced to life in prison. Erik’s attorney, Leslie Abramson, and their aunt, Marta Menendez, attended the ceremony, which was conducted via speakerphone.
The couple stayed together until Eriksson filed for divorce in 2001, alleging that Lyle was unfaithful to her and exchanged letters with other women without her knowledge.
Lyle remarried two years after divorcing Eriksson
Rebecca Sneed and Lyle knew each other for a decade before marrying in November 2003, according to NBC News. Rebecca, a magazine journalist and editor, first began communicating with Lyle through letters, and they became a couple after he and Eriksson split.
Since marrying Lyle, Rebecca became an attorney. She lives in Sacramento, Calif., and visits Lyle weekly.
“Our interaction tends to be very free of distractions and we probably have more intimate conversations than most married spouses do, who are distracted by life’s events,” Lyle told PEOPLE in 2017. “We try and talk on the phone every day, sometimes several times a day. I have a very steady, involved marriage and that helps sustain me and brings a lot of peace and joy. It’s a counter to the unpredictable, very stressful environment here.”
Erik and his wife Tammi started exchanging letters in 1993
Tammi Saccoman was married to Chuck Saccoman and living with him and her teenage daughter from a prior relationship when she began following the brothers’ trial on TV in 1993. Feeling sorry for Erik, she sent him a letter in prison — with Chuck’s blessing.
“I told him that I was going to write to Erik,” Tammi told PEOPLE. “He said to go ahead. I really didn’t know if Erik would write back.”
Erik previously told PEOPLE he believes fate made him open Tammi’s letter out of the flood of mail he receives.
“I saw Tammi’s letter and I felt something. I received thousands of letters, but I set this one aside. I got a feeling,” Erik previously told PEOPLE. “And I wrote her back. Tammi and I continued to correspond. I enjoyed writing to her. It was a slow friendship. It was special to me because it was not associated with the trial and the media. Tammi was someone not in the craziness.”
Erik and Tammi started dating after her husband died
In 1996, Tammi discovered that her then-husband Chuck was allegedly raping her teenage daughter, beginning when she was 15 years old. Chuck turned himself into the police and died by suicide two days later. Tammi and Chuck shared a then-9-month-old daughter, Talia, when he died.
“I reached out to Erik. He comforted me; our letters started taking on a more serious tone,” she recalled to PEOPLE.
Erik and Tammi first met four years after they started communicating
After Erik was convicted of first-degree murder, he invited Tammi — who was dating a doctor at the time — to visit him at Folsom State Prison. They met for the first time in August 1997.
Tammi told PEOPLE she was “really nervous” to meet Erik and that he didn’t even know what she looked like.
“I’d only sent him a tiny, 1-by-1 [inch] picture,” Tammi recalled. “But when he walked into the room, he was so full of life, he hopped down the stairs. It was like I was meeting an old friend.”
Erik said meeting Tammi for the first time was the “most beautiful experience of [his] life.”
Tammi and Erik married about a year after they met
Tammi planned to use her inheritance from Chuck’s death to move to Georgia and establish a life for herself and Talia there but she changed her plans after meeting and falling in love with Erik. She moved to Sacramento to be closer to him and visited him four times per week.
In 1998, Erik proposed to Tammi, and they married at Folsom Prison with a Twinkie serving as their wedding cake. After his transfer to Pleasant Valley State Prison, she and Talia trekked close to 150 miles every week for visits.
Tammi said that a lot of her friends were put off by her and Erik’s relationship and that while other kids at school never bullied Talia about it, Tammi thought their parents may be keeping their distance because of her infamous husband.
“Every single time a parent would say to me, ‘No, my daughter can’t stay over at your house,’ I would wonder if the underlying reason was Erik,” Tammi admitted. “There is always that question in my mind.”
Erik called Tammi a ‘lifesaver’
When asked if she was “troubled” by Erik murdering his parents, Tammi told NBC News in 2005 that she was, but that she didn’t believe her husband was beyond redemption.
“I know his soul, and I do know what happened that night,” she said. “And I do understand. I believe that within everybody put in certain circumstances, you will, you know, be able to kill somebody. I mean, I do believe that Erik is a very good person.”
The same year, Erik told PEOPLE that Tammi was a lifesaver for him.
“Tammi’s love was a major step in my choosing life,” he said. “Having someone who loves you unconditionally, who you can be completely open with, is good for anybody — to know that this person loves me as I am.“
Neither is allowed conjugal visits
While Lyle and Erik are both married, neither has consummated their marriages because conjugal visits are prohibited for inmates serving life sentences in California.
It doesn’t bother Lyle much. He explained to ABC News in 2017, “One thing I’ve learned is that your physical comfort is much less important than your connection with the people around you. I’ve found I can have a healthy marriage that is complicated and built around conversation and finding creative ways to communicate, sharing, without all the props that are normally there in marriage in terms of going out to dinner and having as much intimate time together and so on.”
Tammi is largely unbothered as well, telling PEOPLE in 2005, “Not having sex in my life is difficult, but it’s not a problem for me. I have to be physically detached, and I’m emotionally attached to Erik.”
For his part, Erik isn’t thrilled about the lack of physical contact but says it’s part of what makes the relationship work.
“It’s not the sex you seek, but the emotional connection,” he said, adding, “There is no makeup sex, only a 15-minute phone call. So you really have to try to make things work.”
Tammi and Rebecca are private people
Rebecca hasn’t done any interviews and has remained in Lyle’s corner for more than two decades.
“People are judgmental, and she has to put up with a lot,” Lyle said of his wife in 2017 during his interview with PEOPLE. “But she has the courage to deal with the obstacles. It would be easier to leave, but I’m profoundly grateful that she doesn’t.”
Tammi also keeps a low profile. However, in October 2024, she was photographed in a Las Vegas parking lot wearing what appeared to be a work uniform
