Gay male couples tend to reside in big cities on the U.S. coasts, while lesbian couples opt for smaller, rural cities or towns, according to 2020 census data. The counties with the highest concentrations of male same-sex couples include San Francisco, Manhattan, Boston, and Washington, D.C. On the other hand, areas with high concentrations of female same-sex couple households were found in Hampshire and Franklin counties in the Berkshires in western Massachusetts, and in cities like Portland, Asheville, and Ithaca.
The trend observed aligns with common stereotypes of gay men being urban dwellers and lesbian women being more inclined towards nature, as noted by Crissi Dalfonzo, the director of the Center for LGBT Education, Outreach, and Services at Ithaca College. Factors such as gender pay inequity and the financial ability of male couples to afford living in expensive urban areas, alongside the consideration of raising children, may influence the choices made by different couples.
The preferences for certain locations may also reflect where couples feel most comfortable and supported, whether in tight-knit communities in smaller towns or within LGBTQ+ friendly neighborhoods in big cities, according to Gary Gates, a retired UCLA demographer. The sense of safety and community plays a significant role in the decision-making process for both male and female same-sex couples, as highlighted by Amy Stone, a sociology professor at Trinity University.
Furthermore, the data reveals that Los Angeles County stands out as the top choice for both male and female same-sex couples in terms of sheer numbers. However, the census only captures LGBTQ+ people who are living together as partners, missing those who are single, not cohabitating, or transgender individuals. Efforts are being made to improve data collection, with the possibility of adding questions about sexual orientation and gender identity to surveys.
In areas like Broward County, particularly Fort Lauderdale, gay couples are visibly embraced by the community, with openly gay officials and a sense of warmth and acceptance, according to Keith Blackburn, who leads the Greater Fort Lauderdale LGBT Chamber of Commerce. The unique dynamics and preferences observed among LGBTQ+ couples across the country underscore the diverse experiences and factors influencing their choice of living environment.
